Fixing Broken
by JasonBlake
Summary: No one has written this story yet so I decided to. Jax has been broken ever since Tara died. She was what kept him grounded. She was his home of comfort. Jax hasn't had comfort since. Then he sleeps with Winsome and she comforts him. As unlikely as it is to mean anything long term things happen that push him closer to her
1. Chapter 1

Summary

No one has written this story yet so I decided to.

Jax has been broken ever since Tara died. She was what kept him grounded. She was his home of comfort. Jax hasn't had comfort since. Then he sleeps with a prostitute and she comforts him. As unlikely as it is to mean anything long term things happen that push him closer to her.

Jax couldn't spend the night at his house. He did not want his sons to see him like this. He hadn't been able to sleep at his own house for several days. How was he supposed to ruffle Abels' hair and tuck Thomas into bed while Bobby was captured? No. While Bobby was dead.

He was dead, and Jax was lost. This war that was started... he hadn't had peace since his wife Tara had died. Even before that there hadn't been much peace. Tara had always been what held him down. What kept him sane. Without Tara where would he be? What would have happened to his sons? That would happen to them all now?

Everything had crashed. Opie's death; Tara lying about her pregnancy; her trying to divorce him; then making up with her, sacrificing himself for her and his kids only to have her brutally murdered. Taking vengeance on the Chinese for killing her, only to have his girls at Diosa massacred. Those deaths were on him. As was the death of Bobby. It was too much. It was too much.

Jax walked through the doors of Diosa in a mental stupor. He needed.. He needed something. He needed release. Release from the pain; release from the mountain of anguish and responsibility that had fallen on him.

Jax scanned the room of girls in front of him, his expression blank. Blonde, brunette, redhead. He could have any of them. He didn't even know most of their names. He recognized one. Winsome, the girl they rescued from Greensleeves. He walked towards her, he didn't know what he looked like to her. Sadness from the pain and anger from the pain both welled up inside him. She was looking at him as he got to her. Gripping her arm he pulled her to him and kissed her hard. Her lips gave way as he ate at them aggressively.

After minute the kiss broke. Winsome looked up at him, her face flushed. "Upstairs?" she asked breathlessly.

Jax stared at her with fierce desperation, "Yeah."

They got lost in lust and sensuality. Was he fucking her or making love to her? Jax didn't know. All he knew was he needed something and was desperately trying to find it in her. Trying to release his anger as he went at her ferociously. Trying to find solace as he went into her and kissed her. He was lost. But not lost enough.

He went harder, deeper, needier. All his pain welled up in him. All his anguish. Winsome moaned as he reached his climax. He collapsed on her all his emotion breaking loose.

Jax rolled to the side pulling up the sheet to cover Winsome as he did and sobbed. He lay there, tears flowing. Tears for Bobby, tears for Tara, tears for his family.

"Did I do something wrong?" Winsome asked worriedly.

"No." he whispered, shaking his head. Winsome was silent and Jax continued to sniffle.

"I heard from the girls what happened to your wife." Winsome said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Jax whispered. He stopped crying and took a deep breath.

Slowly Winsome sat up. Jax placed his hand on her back and began to trace his fingers along it. Winsome reached for her bra and began to put it on. "Where are you going?" He asked.

"Figured you'd want me to leave." she said softly.

"No. Stay." He looked at her earnestly. "Please." He whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

Winsome was more than surprised. She liked Jax. When she had first met him he had promised that she could work indoors instead of on the street. He promised that she would be safe working for him and if a client so much as layed a hand in her he'd break their arm. The words had seemed too good to be true, but his face had shown utter earnestness. Winsome somehow felt he could be trusted. She had been right. So far no one had tried to hurt her, but she had heard stories from the other girls. The Son's of Anarchy did not take kindly to people hurting their girls. It was a far cry from Greensleeve who had threatened to break her arm himself.

Jax had been good to her. No one had ever been good to her before. Never. So when he asked her to stay she did so gladly. Winsome lay back down on her side placing her head on Jax's shoulder. They were face to face foreheads nearly touching. Jax reached her hand and pulled it to his chest holding it in his. She kissed his chest and as she settled her head back on his shoulder his hand moved to cup her cheek.

"Is this okay?" She asked. Was this what he wanted? Jax's hand moved from her cheek to her shoulder and pushed her back lightly. For a split second she thought she had upset him. Then he moved his other arm from underneath her and wrapped it around her pulling her even closer. Winsome snuggled up against him.

"Yeah." Jax said and smiled as he cupped her cheek again and began stroking her hair. "That's nice."


	3. Chapter 3

**This story is a little difficult to write. It is a romance between Jackson and Winsome but much of the story depends on things that happen in Jax's life outside of romance. Many of these things are in the show but some of them are changed. I ask that you be patient with me as I describe these things.**

Jax woke up. A warm body was curled up against him. He looked down tiredly at the head of black hair on his chest. His hand moved automatically up to her head and he stroked her hair as he moved out from under her. Jax groaned as he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes.

He stood up and looked around for his clothes. Finding his pants he put them on and started to get dressed. There was movement on the bed. Winsome opened her eyes half way and looked at him sleepily.

Jax smiled at her, "morning." He said. Winsome just moaned and closed her eyes again. Jax finished putting on his cut and went downstairs.

When he got there Nero was there making coffee. "Morning," said Jax and sat down at the bar next to him and began to roll a cigarette.

"Morning." Nero responded, "How's your crew holding up?"

"It's brutal. Bobby was... we all leaned him, you know?"

"Yeah," said Nero, "it really rocked Gemma." He turned around to put his coffee pot away. "Look, I tried to bring this up a few times mano," he said, "but, uh, with everything going on, you know... I was serious about selling my piece."

Jax looked at his partner, "Yeah, I know. I'm just not in a place where I can do that right now."

"Mmm-hmm," said Nero, "I figured as much. I've been talking to Alvarez. He's got the cash. I'll sell him my half and he'll let Oso and his crew run the house in Stockton."

Jax lit his cigarette. "You made this deal behind my back?" He demanded quietly.

"No. Just exploring my options. Nothing's set in stone."

Jax nodded, "This about your uncle's farm?"

"Yeah." Said Nero, "It's time Jax. We both know that." Jax nodded again, pondering the situation. Nero had been his partner in Diosa. Jax liked the man and respected him, but Nero had always had an end game, to cash out and settle on a farm with his son. "Hey, I ain't dropping out." Nero said suddenly, "I'll be around, make sure the transition works." At that moment the door opened and Winsome entered the room.

"Hey, mornin" she said.

"Morning," Nero responded. He looked at her strangely as she walked over to Jax.

"I'm gonna head over to Red Woody," she told Jax quietly, "Lyla's gonna help me with all the computer shit."

"Okay, good." Jax smiled at her, "the hard copies are in the closet next to the kitchen."

"Okay."

"You gotta, take all that data and re-enter it." Nero told her.

"I don't really know what that means, but okay." Said Winsome. She smiled at Jax and touched his hand as she walked away.

"She's seems to be adjusting to life indoors." Nero commented.

"Yeah, she's a smart girl." Said Jax, "A little unstable, but smart." He didn't want Nero thinking he liked the girl too much. He didn't, but he had liked her presence.

"That's the way we like them." The two chuckled. "About selling my piece." Nero continued, "this ain't about you and me Jax."

"I get it." Said Jax, "I'm okay with Alvarez, I just... I don't know, I... guess I'm just not ready to lose my partner."

"I'm gonna be around." Nero assured, "Uh, I love your mom. And I'm hoping that uh, she comes down, spends time with me. Your boys too. Lucius will be there. It's quiet, it's safe. Be a nice little escape." Rat came into the room along with another of the escorts. A slutty looking blonde. He avoided Jax's gaze. Rat, one of the younger members of the club, had a girlfriend who worked in the club's ice cream shop that served as a front to their clubhouse. Apparently he had been philandering and was a little ashamed about it.

"Yeah. Okay." Jax said.

"Seems like you're not the only Son who was seeking a little, uh, professional comfort." Nero said looking at Rat as he let the blonde the blonde out the door.

"Uh, I guess not." Jax said, turning to look at them as well. "I'll catch you later?" He asked and stood up.

"Yeah." The two of men embraced each other and Nero left. Rat made his way over to the bar. Jax sat back down and looked at him.

"Didn't know you here." said Rat.

"Ah, couldn't sleep." Jax tapped his cigarette in an ash tray, "I crashed here the last couple nights."

"Yeah." Rat murmured, "I kinda... I just had to let off some..."

Jax held up his hand, "I don't need to know."

"- Okay."

Jax looked at his fellow patch member. The guy was going through shit like the rest of them. He handed Rat his cigarette.

Rat accepted it, "Anything more on Marks?"

"No, he's still in county."

Rat took a puff, "Three days and no hearing?"

"DA's dragging her feet. Making him sweat."

"Today still make sense?"

"Yeah. You all set with T.O.?"

"Yeah, I'm meeting him at the Fireside."

"You let him know the _second_ it looks like it's gonna go south.."

"Yeah. I'll be clear." Winsome entered the room again and dropped a box full of papers on the table behind them. Jax glanced at her and then took his cigarette back from Rat. He looked at Rat, Rat didn't seem to get the message.

"You should head out." Jax told him meaningfully.

Rat glanced at Winsome and back at Jax, "Oh. Yeah." He got up and went out the front door.

"These the records?" Winsome asked him as Rat left.

Jax walked over to her. "That's them." He came up behind her and ran a hand down her back bumping his head against hers. "Thank you helping out with this."

She looked up at him and then back down at the papers, "Well, I don't really know what the hell I'm doing. But... it's cool." She looked back up at him, "I like the girls. I think some of us are going to get a place together. You know, before we all get gunned down by Chinese gangsters?"

Jax gave her an amused smile, "Perfect." Winsome smiled and shook her head at him. She looked back down at the records. "Hey." Jax said softly and touched her hair, she looked back up. "Thank you for hanging out with me." he whispered.

"Anytime." she responded softly and smiled at him. Jax smiled back and leaned to down to kiss her. As he pulled away she leaned into him wanting more. He walked away. "Hey." she said. Jax turned and walked back towards her questioningly. "I don't know much about you, your club, or anything. But I can see your in pain." Jax nodded gravely. "I know it's hard to look past the shit we do." Winsome continued, she stepped around the table up close to him and dropped her gaze to his chest, "I've lost track of the people I've hurt. Disappointed. But you've been really nice to me." She dropped her gaze even further and placed a hand on the back of his neck. "And-and kind." She looked up at him and touched his face before lowering her hand, "And you kept your word. Not a lot of people do that." Winsome glanced down again, "You're a really decent guy Jax. I just hope you can see some of that."

Jax didn't say anything. He wasn't sure he did see any of it but he nodded at her. "Yeah." he murmured under his breath and he turned and left.


	4. Chapter 4

Winsome watched Jax leave. Had she gone too far? Maybe she shouldn't have said anything about his pain. He obviously didn't want to talk about it. Maybe she shouldn't have. Did she push him away from her? Did her attempt at easing past his walls just make raise more? God she hoped not. She really liked Jax. She had meant it when she had said she would hang with him any time. That night had been hands down one of the best in her life. She had felt cared for and safe. She knew the care was only superficial. He was a pained man missing his wife. She had merely been a hallow replacement to him.

It has actually felt like more to her. Like there was some level care that was actually for her. But logic told her otherwise. Winsome wanted to help Jax though. It's why she had said those things which she now almost regretted. She truly feared he thought himself as evil. That he couldn't forgive himself. Winsome sighed. What was done was done. She needed to go to Red Woody and see Lyla.

Revenge was sweet. Oh God it was sweet. Nothing would end the pain of Bobby's murder. Just nothing would end the pain Tara's before this. Or Opie's murder before that. But revenge helped with the anger. Give the same pain to the man who caused it and you have merely sadness. On top of that revenge showed that fucking with you or your family was a bad idea.

The revenge had been brutal. But then Bobby's death had been brutal. A ripped out eyeball. Dangling while they cut off Cartwright's fingers. Then a shot to the head followed by several more to the chest. The bulk of Bobby's revenge was complete. Only Marks was still alive and was currently in jail. With his revenge quenched and the immediate safety of the club assured Jax could, for the first time in nearly a week, return home to his sons.

That night Jax told Abel about his mother. The kid had been acting out lately and Jax thought that it would perhaps calm him to know that he had a second mother who was still alive. It seemed to work a little and Wendy had nearly broken down. She had been taking care of her own son and only now did he know.

Abel didn't say anything at first, and Jax didn't think much of it. The kid would talk about it if and when he wanted to. When he went to tuck his son into bed however, Abel asked him a question. "Daddy?" He asked as Jax was about to leave.

"Yeah?" Jax moved back to the bed.

"Is Wendy my first mommy cause I came out of her tummy?"

"Yeah. That's right."

"So is that why Grandma killed my other mommy?" Abel asked quietly, "So my first mommy could be here with me?" Jax just stared at him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews! :)**

 **FYI in this story Jax has not killed Jury. For the record I didn't really think that was in Jax's character anyhow. Also this chapter will be the first one where I deviate from the original script.**

The past day had been crazy. Jax had not know how to react to his son's statement. When Jax pressed him Abel said that he had heard Gemma telling his little brother Thomas that she was sorry she had killed his mother. Jax didn't know what to think. He spent a sleepless night sitting on the floor in his son's room.

That morning more mystery was added. Wendy told Jax that Gemma had roped her into helping Juice. Juice was a member of the club who had betrayed them. He had been desperate to gain his way back in. So the club had Juice go to prison so he could try to kill Lin, the gang leader of the Chinese. Telling him if he pulled it off he would be forgiven.

It hasn't made sense to Jax. Why would Gemma help Juice? His mother was devoted to the club. Why would she help someone who betrayed them? His son's story began to make a little more sense. So Jax arranged to have a sit down with Juice. He asked and demanded to know why Gemma had helped him. At first Juice was wish washy. So Jax told him what Abel had said, and how his son was injuring himself telling his teachers his grandmother was hurting him. Was his son delusional? He asked Juice. Or was he tormented? Trying to wrap his little mind around something horrible? Juice had told him that it was the latter. That he had arrived at the scene to find Tara dead and Gemma on the floor covered in her blood. The two of them had come with a story to blame the Chinese and exchange for his silence Gemma helped Juice evade the club.

Jax still didn't want to believe it. So he went to ask Gemma herself. She had ran thereby confirming her guilt. That night he told the club what happened. No one knew how to react. Gemma had been the de-facto mother of the club. Wife to both the first and second presidents and mother of the third. They all loved her. Now they found out she had killed their resident's wife and had sent them into a war that had killed dozens. Including members of the club and girls at Diosa. It was a terrible thing to know.

Now Jax sat by himself in the garage contemplating it all. Horrified. Nero entered and sat next to him. The man knew what had happened. Jax had told him in case his mother tried to contact Nero. They sat in silence for a moment. "How do I come back from this?" Jax asked desperately, "Damage to my club and my family? My boy?"

"Maybe it's time to honor Tara's wish." Said Nero.

"Yeah."

"And what about Gemma?" Jax just looked at him. Nero shook his head, "That's gonna destroy you man."

"I know." Jax said quietly, "but I have to do it."

"Brother.."

"I have to man. I loved Tara. I loved her desperately Nero. And my mother killed her. I can't... I can't just let that go."

Nero looked at Jax for a long monent. Finally he spoke, "I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"Before Tara died, Gemma told me that the pregnancy and miscarriage were fake and I went to talk to Tara."

"Yeah I know."

"Well in that conversation Tara told me I should stay away from Gemma. And that Gemma had helped kill your father."

"What?!"

"I wasn't sure if I believed her. Tara was lying a lot at that time. So I confronted your mom about it. She told me that she pushed Clay to have your father killed."

Jax was astonished, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Your mom said your dad was gonna destroy the club. I didn't know your dad, I thought maybe he was." Nero paused, "I wanted it to be true."

Jax nodded and brought his hands to his face. "Why are you telling me now?" He asked.

"Because I know what you're gonna do. And it's gonna kill you because she's your mom. She raised you and you think she always did what was best for you. But now you know she has been hurting you since you were a child. Just maybe that knowledge will save you." Nero stood up. "I'm so sorry man." He gripped Jax's shoulder and then left. Jax just sat there. And he wept.


End file.
